Fear

Hey everyone.
Hope you guys have had a great week.
Mine was amazing!
Let me explain...
So some of you may know this, some of you don't but around middle school I struggled with rejection a lot. I guess like any other teen. However, for some reason it grew stronger as I got older and fell into a depression. God was totally able to heal me and bring me out of my depression and has helped me and my insecurities however, I have still struggled with that fear of rejection and that lack of confidence in myself.
This week that battle was conquered.
You know, the past 4 years of my life are a huge testament to God and stepping out in faith. I feel like its always been easy for me to take leaps of faith financially and in other things, but when it comes to people, I always comes short.
Peter Dusan, amazing young pastor from Texas, came and hung out with us for a week and just showed us how to have that fear of the Lord and share with others about Jesus and what he has done in our lives.
This guy was a beast. No fear of man. He had such a huge heart for people it really challenged me.
At first I was feeling really discouraged, I felt like a failure. I wanted to go up to people on campus and build friendships but that fear of rejection kept weighing me down.
Wednesday evening however, I drew the line. I had enough with this constant defeat.
This is really the one area of my life that I felt Satan still really had a hold on and I was through letting him have it.
I prayed for a greater compassion and burden for people.
I prayed for God to truly help me put on the armor from Ephesians 6:10
I prayed for a warriors attitude instead of one of defeat.
Then I started to cry.
I didn't really know why.
I realized that literally all of a sudden God gave me that heart of compassion.
It was almost like the movie The Grinch when his hear grew so much it didn't even fit the screen. I felt my hear grow so much for people that nothing else didn't even matter.
The next day we went out on campus and God blew me away. I was able to talk to 2 people and share with them and love them. One girl was Mormon and told me that she had never really met a christian who was so nice to her and not judgmental. I got to pray with her and she thanked me and invited me to hang out with her next week.
The next day I talked to 4 girls. All of which grew up in the Catholic church and were really hurt by religion. I was able to talk and pray with all 4 of them and 2 are actually gonna try and come to church tonight.
WOW.
Thats all I thought at the end of the week.
Did God really just use me to reach out to others?
3 days ago I had just been complaining to God how impossible and stupid it was for me to try and do something like that.
Here is the main thing I learned.
I love Jesus.
He loves me more.
I need to break down the religious walls.
Give them More Jesus.
Show him how real he is.

You know, I also realized that by going out there are winning this battle of fear, its helped me also be more confident.
This week I also got to help lead small group and continued helping out with my middle school girls. I realized even with those two things, I was a lot more confident in what I was doing.

So I just want to encourage you guys. Fear is a big thing in life. But, fear can be defeated. I just want to challenge you to keep pushing through knowing that God has your back and you can fight this. Sometimes its hard when we dont know the final result or when God feels far away, but by believing that he is going to take care of you and trusting in Him, he will see you through.

So, that was this week.
It's October, only like 6 weeks left.
Time has been flying by so fast.
Love you guys!
Thanks for the continued prayers.

P.S. I still don't know how to post pictures on here but there are a few pictures on facebook of the middle school group I work with if you guys want to see.